Solitude supports the grieving process

I (Elizabeth) have recently been in a place of deep grief. My husband and I were pregnant with twins and I had a miscarriage about a month ago. It has been devastating news for us.  But we have been comforted by friends and family bringing food, sending flowers, calling, writing, e-mailing and letting us know they love us. And reminding us we will get through this sad time.

Surprisingly (to this extravert) the greatest comfort I have gotten this month has been from Solitude.

I took a week off of work and spent many hours cocooned away at home. I laid in bed napping. I curled up on the couch with a book. I sat in the sunshine on my back patio. I sat in my favorite armchair and journaled. I walked the neighborhood slowly, with my dog, breathing the fall air. I invited one or two friends for a short visit. I talked on the phone. I sent and received scores of e-mails.

I removed noisy distractions from my life and intentionally chose how I wanted to connect with the world. Because I have given myself the gift of time and space to grieve and heal, I feel safe. And loved.

When you are grieving a loss - the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, bad news about your health, or any other major transition in your life - you tend to feel vulnerable. You feel raw. You feel on edge.

And giving yourself time and space to retreat and to experience Solitude - your own personal sacred space - is the best way I know how to soothe the soul.

I've been back at work for over two weeks now. But I am grateful that I took those days to rest, retreat and renew. I know my/our grieving isn't done but I know the value of creating retreat time. I have been carving out minutes and hours in my "regular" days to help me find a container for my grief process... and allow my soul to be soothed in the process.